Sometimes I Terrible

I recently got bad news.

I feel like ....

In my guts and in my soul.

I know you’ve been there. Some of you might carry this pain in your neck and jaw; for me, it feels like strangulation at the base of my belly. Like nausea that won’t escape.

Sometimes bad news is a result of actions we’ve taken, and we can find a solution. I’m a solver. I like to fix things. Fixing feels safer than feeling (hint: don’t believe this lie).

Unfortunately, many events in our lives are just circumstances outside of our control: circumstances like the health of those we love, decisions that other people make, how our family members behave, the news…

In my “old” life, before I knew how to manage my time AND my mind, I constantly kept myself busy—often unproductively busy, but busy, busy, busy. Sure, everything got done, but at what cost? I used hustle as a way to avoid feeling.

To avoid feeling, some people doom scroll, overeat, or over-consume TV, but most of us have our escape. Mine was work and hustle.

These buffers can feel like a great way to avoid feeling bad, but truthfully, the bad was still there just below the surface because I never allowed it to work its way out. I never made space for feeling bad to be okay.

Recently, I got bad news, and I feel terrible.

But, I’ve retrained myself to normalize this. When I plan my week, I put myself first, so I have time to relax and re-center. Sometimes relaxing means sitting and wading through the shit until I come out the other side, and I’m here for it.

Contact me me if you would like to learn how even the hard parts of life can be a little less hard.