Oh Right. I Wasn’t Built This Way.

Maybe you already know that the default human brain is wired for negativity. I was recently reminded of this when I heard someone say, “I have an angry brain.”

My immediate reaction was gratitude. I felt lucky, thinking I had somehow escaped unscathed, like I was just naturally built with a brain that defaults to neutral or positive thoughts. Don’t get me wrong, I still get overwhelmingly sad about the atrocities in the world, and I get frustrated by my own human shortcomings. But those things don’t occupy the majority of my mental load.

And then reality set in: Oh right. I wasn’t built this way.

I haven’t always had a delightful relationship with my mental space. I trained my brain. I did the heavy lifting to develop a healthy relationship with myself, and it is the most valuable thing I’ve ever done. I barely recognize the person I was before. I realized that I used to I complain about my reality and often felt at the mercy of my environment. I thought that to feel better, I had to control other people—and if you have ever met people, you know exactly how well that turns out.

It took me into my 40s to figure out how freeing it is to let go, trust myself, and focus only on what is in my control. Today, I am so grateful to have an amazing relationship with my own thoughts.

But it makes me wonder: What if I had learned how to do this as a teenager? What if these mindset skills were regularly taught to young people? What would society look like today?